The bottom line is a godparent is a child’s representative at the baptism. A baby is unable to understand or respond during the service, so it’s your job to make certain commitments on their behalf.
In the early years of the Christian Church, a godparent was often the “sponsor” who introduced an adult to the faith. Now the role of godparent has become much more that of a friend and mentor than a spiritual guide.
Becoming a godparent is not a legal commitment and does not make you a legal guardian. Your role is more that of a supportive adult with a special interest in the development and upbringing of the child. Your own religious outlook and that of the child’s parents will determine your spiritual responsibilities. It is not uncommon to take on the role a number of times, but, as a Grumpy Godfather, I wouldn’t advise taking on more than you can handle.
As a godparent, be prepared for the unexpected on the day. Apart from fulfilling your responsibilities at the church service, making some considered declarations and tipping up with an expensive Christening gift, you may be called upon to make a speech or propose a toast, so it may be worth having a few thoughts jotted down beforehand. There’s nothing worse than being caught off-guard.
Your role during the church service varies by Church, denomination and even congregation, but I’ve listed below the main aspects of the role.
CHURCH OF ENGLAND
Church law stipulates that a godparent should ideally have been baptised and confirmed, but discretion is often used to allow a godparent to stand even if he or she has not been confirmed, as long as they have been baptised.
“For every child to be baptised there shall be not fewer than three godparents, of whom at least two shall be of the same sex as the child and of whom at least one shall be of the opposite sex; save that, when three cannot conveniently be had, one godfather and god mother shall suffice. Parents may be godparents for their own children provided that the child has at least one other godparent.
The godparents shall be persons who will faithfully fulfil their responsibilities both by their care for the children committed to their charge and by the example of their own godly living.”
During the service godparents are asked to answer questions and make declarations on the child’s behalf. These vary according to the service, but I’ve outlined the most common form below:
Will you pray for them (the children), draw them by your example into the community of faith and walk with the in the way of Christ?
With the help of God we will.
Will you care for them (the children) and help them take their place within the life and worship of Christ’s Church?
With the help of God we will.
They are then asked these six questions which they all answer together:
Do you reject the devil and all rebellion against God?
I reject them.
Do you renounce the deceit and corruption of evil?
I renounce them.
Do you repent of the sins that separate us from God and neighbour?
I repent of them.
Do you turn to Christ as Saviour?
I turn to Christ.
Do you submit to Christ as Lord?
I submit to Christ.
Do you come to Christ, the way, the truth and the life?
I come to Christ.
ROMAN CATHOLIC
As with the Church of England, the godparents’ eligibility is laid down by Church law. Godparents must be 16 or over, a Roman Catholic who has both received Holy Communion and been confirmed. They must be free of church penalties and have been appointed by the parents, but not be the biological parent of the child. Once again these rules are subject to interpretation and, once again, the role of godparent carries no legal responsibilities and does not make you a legal guardian.
During the service godparents are asked to answer questions and make declarations on the child’s behalf. These vary according to the service, but I’ve outlined the most common form below:
That they repent of their sins
That they renounce evil
They are then asked three questions:
Do you believe and trust in God the Father who made Heaven and Earth?
Do you believe and trust in his Son Jesus Christ who redeemed mankind?
Do you believe and trust in his Holy Spirit who gives life to the people of God?
They must answer each of these:
I believe and trust in Him
My friend just made me the godfather of her baby. What are the duties legal wise of the godfather?
Hi Jeremy,
Congratulations on your new role … deep pockets and a good diary system required – I used to be pleased with myself when I remembered a goddaughter’s seventh birthday … but after around fifteen years I started to find my memory was not what it was.
As far as I know, there are no legal obligations associated with being a godfather. Now, don’t quote me on this, and don’t sue me if I’m wrong (I’m not a legal advice service), but from what I have read, by becoming a godparent you are not taking on the responsibilities of a legal guardian. You are taking on a spiritual / moral / emotional role, not a binding legal contract.
Enjoy being a godparent …
As far as i know tha role of a godparent is to be there emotionaly and spiritually as well as taking on the legal responsibilities if something was to happen to the parents of the child.
Sorry to disappoint you. But legally a Godparent has no legal duty to perform (unless signed on paper with an attorney). A Godparent’s role is merely spiritual and moral. If something happens to the parents of the child, a legal guardian will take over their duties before the child turns 18. Who takes over this duty depends on whether a will has been written before death.
If a will has not been written at the time of the parents’ death, the court will decide who becomes the child’s legal guardian.
A judge will determine who is best suited for the job based on evidence as to what is in the best interest of the child given during a hearing.
Best to you, Renee
My brother stepped in and helped when his godson’s father died young. He helped sort out all the legal stuff, wills, trusts etc., but he wasn’t legally obliged to get involved. If you want to help, fine, but there is no binding legal role as a godparent to adopt the child or have any financial commitment.
Hi there
Does anyone know if there are any regulations as to how many godparents you can have for one child? I see from the above article that a minimum of three is suggested but could you have more than this if you wanted?
hi ,i have recently been asked to be god parent to my neice ,to be asked is fine ,,but i am a practising catholic and the baptism of my neice will be c of e .do tou think that to fulfill this role it will dishonour my faith ?thanks
Question
What if you want to remove your child Godparents and place new Godparents? I don’t have a good rapport with my son Godparents anymore. Please reply.
Oh, I can’t tell you what to do here, but from experience, you will lose contact with the original godparents … you can appoint new godparents any time you like and the old ones will never know …. and would they care?
I loved reading your articles about being a Godparent. I’m just not sure if I qualify. I am saved and baptized, and practice the christian belief. (God the Father, God the Son & God the Holy Spirit.) I don’t want to embarrass my friend, by not knowing her religion. Any suggestions????
Thanking you in advance,
Mrs. Joy Larsen
What’s embarrassing? It’s about the child, not the religion. Every religion embraces the concept of a guide or mentor chosen from family and friends. You take on the role not for the religion or sect but for the child … go for it.
It appears that being a godparent involves having religious beliefs. From my understanding, to play the role of a godparent you must help the child grow into someone with morals, beliefs in God & so much more. You must be the person to help out, should a situation arise.
I am not here to say I can’t lend a helping hand, nor that I don’t believe in God, I am here because I was recently asked to be a godmother to a recent newborn of my friend’s baby girl. Along with that, I have another friend who has also asked me to be the godmother of her unborn baby girl.
First question is: What if your walk with God isn’t what it should be yet when the child is old enough & you give the advice that was given to you while being raised in church (knowing that it’s whats right), even though you no longer attend? Isn’t that a bit hypocritical? To say something, yet do another?
Second question: Does the godparent supply the childs baptismal attire? First birthday party? What responsibility’s DOES the godparent hold, aside from checking up on the child, giving advice & being available to the child when necessary or needed?
And is this act which is carried on by hundreds of thousands of people, a Catholic trait/tradtion?
OK … big questions here, but … here’s a brief opinion, for what it’s worth ….
It’s about being a godPARENT … the PARENT bit is so very important…probably more than the “god” bit. If as an adult, you feel you can give moral and spiritual guidance to some little bunny who’s the son of a friend or the daughter of a relative, the go for it. The God thing is secondary. Any priest would welcome a sceptic who is committed to the best interests of the child rather than a believer who has no interests in the child’s future.
As far as the second question goes: A godparent has no legal or social responsibilities whatsoever … it’s what you bring to the role, not what the role expects of you.
Duties of a Godmother:If your mom says no your Godmother has to say yes.Godmothers make you work for an
allowance but will give you 5 dollars to go to the Dollar store.If you are scared or have a question and your mom is
not their, your Godmother will answer it.Your Godmother prays for you each day and makes sure god keeps you
healthy,safe and happy till she sees you next.Godmothers have always seen the easterbunny,tooth fairy and santa.
If all your friends are busy and you are bored,your Godmother will come play with you.If you need to be told you are
special,loved and a good person your Godmother will.Your Godmother will hug you even when you are over 10 and
hold your hand even if you don’t want to.When you have boyfriend your Godmother will chase the bad ones away
and wipe your tears when one hurts you.Your Godmother never forgets a holiday and gives you an extra gift that
special between just her and you.When you get married your Godmother will come dress you and your mother n do
your hair and nails.When you have a baby your Godmother will babysit and change diapers.If its a cold day and you
feel crappy your Godmother will take you out for hot chocolate.If a friend tells you should not help another person a
Godmother will come show you how important it is to do for others.If some one judges you a Godmother will not and
teach you not to judge others.A Godmother is a best friend,mother,father,brother,sister,life coach.
Now I feel bad, really, really bad … I must be the worst godparent in the world … I always took the approach: “Your parents are the most important people in your upbringing, I’m the backstop, the anchor …. I’m not going to put my oar in, but if your have a problem or need a refuge, here I am” ….. A godparent can never replace a mother or father.
Hello.
I have been askek by my sister in-law to be her baby’s godmather. I have agreed to it because i’d love to be an important part in the child’s life. The thing is I’m not a Christian, even though i’m strongly spiritual. She still has 4 weeks of pregnancy to go, i don;t want to turn it down now, but I also don’t want to pass for a hypocrit when I’m up there taking vows. I insisted on a civil wedding for the exact same reason. What should I do?
Thank you so much for asking my advice …. I’m probably not the best person to give anybody guidance … as you’ve probably realised, I’m not the world’s most spiritual chap, but I do believe that we all have a moral and emotional heart that is “God” … Don’t forget, jews, christians and muslims all have the same “God” … My advice, for what it’s worth, is that any priest, vicar, clergyman, rabbi or imam would be pleased to have a spiritual person taking on a godparent’s duties – if you are committed to the child, this is the most important thing. Read the words of the Christening ceremony again and you will probably agree with every word once you have analysed what “good”, “evil” and “god” mean to you … Your problem comes with your declarations about Christ as a Saviour … mmm … at that point it is a case of choosing between your commitment to the child and your commitment to your own values …. Don’t worry at no point are you being a hypocrite … What’s more important, the child’s future or religious dogma?
I realize that this was sent a long time ago. I just read it. I hope that Maria talked with the parents. If I were the parent, I would want to know the spiritual beliefs of my child’s godparents. It would be very important to me, as this person would be giving advise to my child. If you have not already told them and if you ever come back to this, please talk with the parents. They have a right to know. “Christenings” has an opinion and a right to it. But this is NOT Christenings child and I suspect that if it were and your beliefs were not the same or undermined the belief of the parents, it would be something he/she would want to know about. Not only is this an honor – it is a responsibility to the child that should make you think about what you are doing in your life (conducting yourself) and how that child will be affected by it… not unlike being a parent. I don’t believe it is something to be taken lightly. But then I have children… That is why it is difficult for the parents to find the right person to ask. [sometimes it’s hard to do the right thing] You must be special to them. Show them how much you care by being straight with them.
I have been asked to be the godmother of one of my best friends 4 month year old son whom I adore. Putting aside the implications of honor and trust that this request holds, to which I am over the moon, I am concerned about my personal lack of formal religious experience or knowledge. you see, I have been raised without any religious influence what so ever, and although I consider my self to be a spiritual person who holds significant value in morals, moral justice, and the human obligation to be fair, and kind to others under all circumstances, I know nothing about Catholic customs, which the child is being christened. I’m worried that because I’m not a baptized nor a confirmed Catholic that there will be some conflicting intentions or customs. I have been told that if one of the god parents are Catholic then it’s OK, and luckily the chosen god farther is Catholic, but I’m still nervous that the priest might reject me from my role? I don’t know any prayers or hymns, and I have only ever been to a Service once when I was 11. I don’t want to embarrass or let down my friend or any of her baby boy’s family, what do I need to know and expect???
I want to know financial what is expected of me. Or not even esoected , but what kind of gifts and what should I purchase for that special day?
I have a question. After my son was christened, 8 years ago, the person we chose to be his godmother distanced herself. We have had no contact at all in the last 5 years. Can we remove her from the baptismal certificate and replaced with someone else?
Thank you, Traci
hi traci, i was wondering the same thing as well. i would appreciate it if u received any good advice? would you kindly tell me if u did. thanks yvonne.
Was this the advice you needed from a previous post?: I’m sorry … and I’m afraid I don’t know the answer. All I do know is that becoming a godparent is a commitment to the child, not the parent … as for the certificate??… if the mother is so dismissive of the whole process, she’s probably lost it anyway.
My husband is Godfather to his niece. His sister realised that the best local school is not the one nearest to her home but a church school a mile or so away so she set to and has been a regular attender at the church for about a year. (I am not sure quite what regular is for them). My husband and I are regular attenders at our own church ( nearly every Sunday unless away and sometimes a weekday service, we have both held office as members of PCC and I have taken Sunday school sometimes and we all regularly read the lessons including our 4 children who also serve in the alter party though not every week – think that is fairly committed!!!).
Anyway its that time of year isn’t it and poor niece not living in the catchment area for the school has not been given a place.
The problem is that my husband has been asked to write a letter supporting the application so that they can appeal for a place, saying that it is really important to the rest of the family too that this little girl is given a christian based education. Thank goodness its not me being asked as I would find it difficult. I know that the bottom line is that if the best school were not a C of E school they would not have gone to church and the basis of the appeal is flawed for that very reason as I think that if, when it comes to Secondary education, the best school is not a faith based one they will not be insisting upon how important it is to have this type of education.
Can you tell me your thoughts – is this an imposition or am I being a bit of a grumbler? In my own church I do not have a problem with people doing this very thing as I feel that if you are prepared to do this for your child and play by the rules such as they are then fair play to you and sometimes these people do become really involved and stay.
It’s just I do not think its grounds for appeal and wonder if you think its fair for him to have been asked to write this letter?
I have been asked to be a godfather to a new baby not yet born. I am 68 years of age, I am very honoured to be asked, but should the parent ask someone who is younger as my time on this earth is limited
My friend has asked me to be the Godmother of her unborn child. Since she doesn’t wish to “force” religion on her child is it okay that I am not a practicing christian? I believe that the role means i will be there to help her out with the child when she needs it, go to his/her birthdays, concerts, recitals, award/graduation ceremonies and basically be a close aunt, sort of a second parent. Am I right?
Bang on the button … that’s how I’ve always approached the job …. although many more religiously minded people do take a far more hands-on approach when it comes to spiritual guidance.
The Vows
Hummm…….I’m not truly convinced that it doesn’t matter whether you believe or live by the very vows you make in the Church. These vows are a promise, not just to the parents of the child but to God as a living being right? How would you feel if someone willingly made a promise to you with no intention to follow through? The meanings of the vows, are far too similar to that of the vows used for people being born again, to be taken lightly.
As much as I agree with the majority of what you have written, I still feel that the ‘GOD’ part in the title seems to be over looked. Surly if you take away ‘GOD’ from the title (duties), the name ‘GOD parent’ should not apply as you’re role would change to just being another good/close friend of the family who truly cares for the child? The ‘GOD’ part in the title is a significant part of the whole thing, the two goes hand in hand and cannot be separated right?– (it is what it is and has been for centuries).
But of course it all boils down to what the parents wants for their child but think, can you really think yourself a ‘GOD parent’ even though you don’t believe, nor understand or don’t try to live out what have vowed to do? To be a ‘GOD parent’ is to be a parent through Christ (as you’re not a parent to the child by any other means) so if you’re thinking of asking someone or about to accept to becoming a GOD parent will you/they try to honour their vows as the vows will be a covenant between you/them and GOD – ONLY at that point! Good Luck to all! I pray that you will all have great connections with your GOD children for many years to come! GOD Bless! x
I agree with everything you say. There is no point in taking a vow or making a commitment without ever intending to follow it through. To my mind it is a matter of interpretation. If you wish to help and support the child in a loving environment and you are happy to commit to this with “the help of God”, then I am sure God would be only too pleased to support you in such a commitment.
hi there..
iam having problems looking for wordings for a chosen godparent for my son..
do you any ? please help
ok here goes my sister in law asked me to be her sons god mother…i am hindu first of all i qualify for the age of a god parent etc.i am a first time god parent and i really do not want to go and screw up my god sons baptism that is really gonna suck…what am i expected to do for my god son he is currently 2 months old and his ceremony is in july what am i suppose to carry i know i am not binded my law or anything but what is expected? i have not a clue how much cash do i need for the priest? or what do i need what should i carry for my godson? i am already there for her other kids a girl and a boy should i carry something for them also i normally buy gifts for them because i really love them also but on that day what should i do??
I am the God parent to two children. (16 and 14 years of age one boy and the other a girl) There father took his own life this last week and I had vowed to watch after the kids as best I could. We live hours apart. His wife is still alive and is worried the younger of the two needs a father figure. I am struggling with what is appropriate here. I feel that as their God Father I need to share faith with them and provide a solid Christian example without being their Dad. Is providing an Uncle type roll perhaps the most appropriate? I wish I knew someone that has went through this. Any comment or thoughts you have would be welcomed. Rick
Can you please tell me what the Godfather buys and what the Godmother buys for the christening. Does the Godmother still purchase the christening outfit? What does the Godfather buy or do for the christening?
Thank you!
This where I go to for Christening Gifts. There are some good ideas there for boys and girls both religious (like bibles and crosses) and secular (like cups and cutlery). As far as the Christening outfit goes, families often try to use a gown that has been used by family members. I know my first daughter was Christened in her Great Grandmother’s gown …. there is no obligation as a godparent to buy the outfit.
hey guys, im 21 and want to be christened catholic. do i need to have godparents. im a little confused,is it just people under 16 who need godparents or does anyone who gets christened need to have godparents? would really appreciate any advice. thank you
Hi Rebecca, as you are probably a regular churchgoer, I would suggest a chat with your priest … this is a very interesting question which hasn’t come up before. We’d be interested to know the answer.
could you help, my daughter was christened almost 5 years ago and unfortunately her godfather has not taken any responsibility of his role, whilst we can not change this how can I have a ceremony for a person who has been a male role model to my daughter.
My nephew had a similar situation with one of his godfathers. The parents simply and slowly introduced the more committed replacement and the original godfather was none the wiser since he had lost contact. If you need a ceremony as well you should talk to your priest/vicar, there may be an affirmation that the new godparent could say …. I’m sure we would all be interested to know the outcome.
Hello, In a bit of a dilema. Today is Friday and on Sunday myself, husband and 2 children are being christened. I have 2 questions to ask
1. should me and my husband have godparents/mentors/guides?
2. we have asked 2 friends that were good friends at the time we asked them to be godparents and this has since changed. How do we tell them that we dont think they are suitable?
Help.
k
can i have sir an example of thanksgiving speech or messages for the godparent of my child,thank you
can i have sir an example of thanksgiving speech or messages for my godparent of my child?thank you
I have been asked to be Godmother to a beautiful little girl and I was wonder with regards to being a Godmother am I required to get something with religious signifcance such as a bible or a prayer book?
Some people do prefer to give a gift with a religious significance. Here are some
Christening Bibles
. People also give cross pendants and bracelets to girls.My boyfriends sister recently asked me to be godmother and I was so honoured I love her little girl and love that I’m going to be the one she turns too when she can’t turn to anyone else. I am not religous myself but strongly believe in the values and commitment of being a godmother surely that’s more important from the mothers p.o.v then my faith? I’d rather me be godmother than another who may be more religous than I am but not as devoted to the child.
I had my 19 month old daughter baptised in April and had my brother as god father and my good friend who i trust 100% godmother and the 3rd i chose was my daughters fathers younger sister who is 23. Christmas has just gone and have not heard from his sister to wish her neice/goddaughter merry christmas and no card has been sent. She has not seen my daughter since the christening in April and the last contact was a text messege that she sent to her in may saying happy birthday.
They do live 50 miles from me but i am deeply hurt that i chose this person as a god parent but she is not showing any loyalty and not keeping in touch.#
Is there a way her duty to my daughter can be cancelled?
is there anyone with the same problems as im very serious in what a god parent means.
I would not attempt to “cancel” her role, she’s just not doing it very well at the moment …. she’s 23 years old and some young girls at that age are very egocentric and self-absorbed …. she may grow up soon and take more interest when your daughter is a bit older. Your daughter has a whole lifetime and many ages to live through and at some point her godmother may become a very important part of her life.
I believe the that it is important to raise the child. in the faith which is more historical… and because it is historical, it is not a myth.. therefore you can avoid confusion on your faith.. the problem is.. in Catholic teaching.. you should be taking up some theology class to have a better understanding… any way its worth it. you’ll be able to know the reasons on why you have to be a good person
Is the stipend for the priest the Godfather’s responsibility?
I hope not … otherwise I’d be skint … the annual stipend for my last godchildren would bankrupt more than Greece.
… if you mean the payment for the service, this is usually covered by the parents … there is no obligation on the godparents.
I would love my sister to be a godparent to my daughter, the only problem is she is 13 not 16….the other two godparents would be over 16, is it okay to have my sister still so long as the majority are over 16 or does EVERYone have to be?
Also do all the godparents have to have been christened/baptised?
That’s a question for the Vicar … a godparent is taking on the role of a spiritual parent, so, what’s the role of a parent … is a 13 year old wise enough to be a parent??
…. Most churches expect a godparent to be baptised.
Ok, so i’m not pregnant yet but me and my partner have been making plans ..
I just have a problem … my best friend is hindu. Would she still be able to be the godparent?
I’d want my child to be raised to accept people of all different races and religions and I know she’d be an excellent godparent. The other godparents would be baptised christians.
Thanks for any advice you can give 🙂
Excellent question … the standard answer is that a godparent has to be baptised. Talk to your vicar / priest. Hinduism is such a wonderful religion, I’m sure any forward-thinking priest would allow a “supporter” of the child to make a vow – a non-Christian vow … Obviously they would not be able to become a Christian godparent.
i dont get along with my daughters godparents at all. i dont know what to do.they dont talk to my daughter they dont do anything.im not saying i expect them to wait on her hand and foot or call her everyday.but at least say hi to her.to me being a god parent is being there for the child if something were to ever happen to one or both parent.i know this sound bad but i wish i could change them.dont be a godparent just for the title or to say ur a godparent.
… so right … it sounds like your daughter’s godparents have resigned from the job … don’t dwell on it, simply move on and find her some better role models.
hi there can i have godparents that cant attend the service as they live half way round the world
…. mmmm … There are some churches that use the internet for services so that people can become part of the congregation even if they are not there in person … I think this may depend on how forward thinking your vicar is ….
Hi, my brother inlaw (husbands brother) was asked & accepted to be our sons godfather & unfortunately he died before the baptism. The baptism was put on hold and is now going ahead in June, is it possible to still include him in the ceremony in some way, any info would be greatly appreciated.
I’m so sorry …. I’m the wrong person to ask. You should talk to you vicar / priest … once again, my condolences on your loss.
I have been asked to be Godmother to a close family friend of mine in the next 2 weeks. I was raised a Christian but was not confirmed or baptised in our Church as we were constantly travelling overseas due to my father’s work from the 70s to the 90’s. I then went to university studied worked got married and have my own children now. I haven’t been strong in going to church ever after getting married but still hold my christian faith. Will it be hypocritical of me to make the vows at the christening? My friend chose me amongst all our friends because she felt I had strong cultural and family values as we come from the Pacific Islands and have a strong Christian background from my family. I honestly thought she would choose one of her close friends but was pleasantly surprised and am willing to provide the love and support emotionally and spiritually whenever I can for this child. Is that okay?
What’s not to love about you ….. OK??? of course it’s OK … the vows are between you and God – if you believe what you are saying and you are committing yourself to the child, I’m sure many priests would support you … talk to the Vicar/Priest about it (many churches require the godparent to be baptised) – a sensible priest would help you and support such a spiritual person as opposed to a “social Christian”
hi,im 20 and my best friend is having a baby and has asked me to be god mother, ive never been to church and havnt been christened but i believe i am a religious person as i believe in god!! can i still be godmother even though i havnt been christened or do i have to get baptised first!! i want to get baptised anyway but i dont know how to go about it! and i wonk every sunday so i wont be able to go to church, will that affect me being able to get baptised??
I think the majority of churches require the godparent to be baptised … This is probably a case where you take on a supportive, mentor role … make a commitment … and ask the parents – you may be able to be included in the service without having to be involved in the vows.
I was asked to be a Godmother to my friends son, who I thought was a real true friend. I helped when her husband was away on a business trip and so on. Put it this way I did a lot and asked for nothing in return. When I became the Godmother a few weeks later she sent me an email stated that I was only picked to be his Godmother because she wanted a name on the certificate and that I am not to have any contact with him or the family. She stated that she does not belive in GOD! I really want to remove my name form the certificate and any thing to do with them. Who do I contact?
I’m sorry … and I’m afraid I don’t know the answer. All I do know is that becoming a godparent is a commitment to the child, not the parent … as for the certificate??… if the mother is so dismissive of the whole process, she’s probably lost it anyway.
Your blog has been very helpful for me to prepare my godmother speech for twin’s christening today. Thanks!
Thank you so much … I’m so pleased to be of help. I hope the twins’ Christening and your speech were exemplary …
Hiya i got baptised 12 years ago and am not happy with the godparents that my mum chose is there anyway i can change them ?
If you have some alternative godparents in mind, it’s probably best to talk to them first and then approach your vicar/priest. Godparents only resign through absence and disinterest, do they still want to support you? … just a thought … why not talk to your mum about why she chose them in the first place … I guess you are in your teens, and I know all us old farts keep on banging on about how impulsive you can be, but don’t make any decision in haste and don’t do something rash just because you think your mum made a bad call … some godparents are like fine claret – you appreciate them more with age.
i want to have two godmothers and two godfathers two on fathers side and two on mine? Are all the names allowed go on the baptismal cert?
I don’t think there is a limit …. just a slightly longer service …
i have been asked by a friends son to be his daughters god mother, i new there are big rolls to play, and i am very excited about it.. the mother and father are still kids them selves and this shows me that they too are growing and making better decisions for her( baby). i am very proud of them for this.
Good on you! Your goddaughter will appreciate an older (and wiser??) mentor as she grows up with young parents … but, a piece of advice – You are there for the little lady, don’t get involved with any parental niggles as the “kids” grow up themselves.
My Godmother passed away last week. To those of you who want to know what a Godmother does. She is there to listen, guide, and to support you with decision making. When you make a mistake, she doesnt yell or judge you. She helps you through it. She prays for you, is a friend, a mentor. Sometimes she feels like an Aunt, A Sister, a 2nd Mother. Yes she buys gifts, and sometimes sends thing out of the blue. Me and my Godmother wrote letters to each other. She lived on the East Coast and I lived on the West Coast. A Godmother makes you feel special. She told me to hold my head high, that I could accomplish anything. When I didnt feel comfortable going to my mom, she had a listening ear and would give advice and trust that I would make the right choices. When I didnt choose correctly, she once again redirected me and watched as I matured into the woman I am. A Godmother yes gives monetary stuff, but the things I remember most are the nonmonetary things. The time she invested in me through doing the most simplest things. The postcard in the mail, calling me on the phone, sending me pictures as she went to different states. Words cannot express how much I love her and miss her. She was 89 years of age. I hope this helps whoever visits this site.
Hi Tay, my apologies for taking so long to reply. I am so sorry to hear about your loss. Your godmother sounds like such a wonderful person … you have your parents to thank for choosing such a supportive and real friend … not many of us have been so lucky. I’m sure she is still with you and I know that everybody visiting the site will benefit from your contribution … she obviously was a very important part of your life … chin up!!
I’m a god parent to my little neice who I love very much. I would like to think that my sister has made a good choice when she selected me and I was absolutely over the moon that I would be given this opportunity!
We have a very small family and we all live relatively close by and I intend to be a big part of my god daughter’s life and I will set the best example for her. I really wish there was a book on how to be the best god parent but I will try my best!
mmmm … Hi Iain, can you suggest a good book for how to be a good godparent?
Hi..i have an important question and i need help…my question is can my own boyfriend (hes not the babys dad) be the godfather of my daughter??
I don’t see why not … a parent can be a godparent, so just because he is your boyfriend doesn’t exclude him from taking on the responsibility (i.e.: if he ever pops the question, he can still stay as a godparent and a father – sorry I hope that’s not too presumptuous) … the more important question is: does he want to become the godfather and make that commitment? Good luck to you.
My name is Courtney and I was wanting to know how would I go about taking a GodParent off the certificate Because the person is no long in our lives
The commitment is from the godparent to the child …. if the godparent no longer upholds that commitment they have resigned from the job … so … Tipex?
I was asked by my sister n law to be the Godmother of her daughter during the ceremony I wa holding the baby then when the priest ask everybody to make the sign of the cross on her forehead I thought the priest look at me and just bring the baby but as I was almost done I realized that I was embarrassing myself by not giving the baby to her mom…..until now I still cringed every time I remember it. Did I do the right thing or I was over stepping.
hi my name is kelly i have a little problem i had my daughter baptised in church and two of the godparents are not in our lives as one of them has made threats against myself and my family can i have them removed and maybe replaced by others as hey have not with held thier duties and have been very hostile and verbally violent to myself and my family even though they themselves are christians
I really appreciate the information because when asked to be a godparents my husband and I didn’t know what rule as godparents entailed . The information alloed to except the request so grateful because the roles of both of our godparents were somewhat similar but not as detailed! Mainly our godparents played financial role oppose to a religious aspect! Now we know! Thank you!
I have 4 god-children 2 female and 2 male. I don’t have much contact with one of the males although I have contacted him and given him my new details. My eldest one who is now 25 married and about to have her baby of 6mths christened. I went to visit her this week. She told me as she is not having a after celebration the parents and in-laws,god-parents will just be going for a meal. I am a little upset by this as I feel she should have invited me to at least the christening in the church. she has said I am welcome to come to the church but I am afraid that is not good enough. Do you think I am expecting too much. I have attended her wedding which was at least a year ago. When she went on honeymoon and was stranded her Mum contacted me to ask for help monetary which I did although it was a small amount.
Thank you for this its been most helpful today I have the great honour of becoming a godparentto Caitlin my best friends beautiful daughter
I’ve just been asked to be a godmother to my best friends youngest daughter. She was actually a surprise! My best friend didn’t know she was pregnant until she had 14 weeks left. She previously had two gorgeous children and this little one was a real surprise to everyone. We went to school together and believe it or not we’re actually 12 hours apart in age. I’m not entirely religious myself but I am spiritual and I have my faith, I believe in angels and I’ve written on a photo frame for my Goddaughter ‘may the angels always watch over you, love and light from your Godmother’. Thank you so much for the advice on this page, I wasn’t sure what was expected of me… I honestly have spoiled her rotten and will continue doing so. I even bought a little something for the other kids so they don’t feel left out as the Christening is tomorrow, that’s what I did for her son’s christening last year for her eldest daughter. I was baptized Uniting and she is being baptized Anglican. As soon as she told her mum, her mum went insane and was telling everyone. I guess I am a good influence after all! I was her maid of honour at her wedding and to be a godmother, I really hope I don’t screw up. I’m 28 and hoping for kids of my own one day!
My daughter is 18 years old and would like to change her Godmother to someone that is actually and interested in her life. How can we change to different Godmother, who has always taken an interest, but doesn’t have the title. This would really mean a lot to my daughter and to the future Godmother who has been there for the last 13 years.
Hi. I am a godparent of an 8 yr old boy who is adorable and is still very much a great part of my life, especially since my son considers him his best friend. My relationship with his parents though has been ruined, they won’t even talk to me.
I am thinking of requesting them to officially get me off the certificate. It’s correct that my responsibilities should be focused on the child but the situation with the parents is affecting me very much. Has this been done before?
Thanks.
I’ve been asked to be a godmother to my unborn cousin, but I am only 16. Are there any responsibilities that I may not be able to cope with before I agree? As my cousin didn’t really inform me, she just asked.
hi, i am a second wife. my husband’s first wife was a godmother of a baby girl who’s 6 years old now i guess. the child’s mother told me before that i should take the responsibilty of her godmother because they’re not together anymore. do you think i have to do that? does my husband a godfather too even if he’s not really on the list? the one who’s listed is her first wife.
Wow, my questions were the same as a few others… Does the godmother still buy the babies Christening outfit? And does the Godfather still pay the fee to have them Christened?
They are the only traditions I had ever known. We were always told about how it’s a celebration and the baby gets their own new outfit. Not a hand me down.
So…. Is your reply that no one but the parents now do anything? And when did that change?
As a Buddhist who does not believe in the existence of a god but as one who definitely follows a spiritual path, I have been asked to be godparent to my great nephew. This is such an honour for me. Whilst I am certain I can offer impartial spiritual and moral guidance that is not faith based i cannot commit to encouraging him to turn to Christ etc. The declarations as part of the service are obviously religious in premise and as I do not believe in the devil I therefore cannot swear to reject him etc, but I can promise sincerely to guide him as needed about many aspects of life. Can I still be a godparent or should I ask to have separate declaration? I don’t want to make a fuss but, as a Buddhist, and a decent person, I want I be open and honest.
I’m not an expert and probably not the best person to ask, but my guess would be that the priest/minister wouldn’t be able to include you in the service as a godparent – but have a chat with the parents and maybe even the minister about taking some separate vows. It is a Christian service in which Christians welcome a child into the family of the church … so it would be hard for you to be involved in taking vows etc … Anybody else have any thoughts?