Posts Tagged ‘Christening Party’

Hattie has sent me the following toast for your Christening speech. I’m not so sure about this one, but I suppose the sentiments are pretty sound:

“May you live as long as you want, and may you never want as long as you live.”

Have a look at Christening Toasts if you need some ideas


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Sometimes you can stand at a full-blown Christening production and find yourself open-mouthed in awe at the proud parents’ party-planning abilities. The whole thing feels like a celebrity wedding being featured in Hello magazine rather than a family celebration of an important rite of passage.

From the personalised Christening invitations with a soft-focus image of the wonderful offspring (who still looks like Winston Churchill in any light), to baby’s pristine Christening outfit including wee white booties with bows and a cute white bonnet, the parents have gone out of their way to ensure that the poor child will be cringing for the rest of its life. Serviettes with monograms, party favors for all the guests and an hour long photo shoot will etch the big day forever in the memory.

I was at a Christening recently where the Christening gifts were displayed on a table in the centre of the room as at a wedding. All rather embarrassing since I had turned up with a tongue-in-cheek silver chip fork for the little chap.

When they start dishing out the confetti you know they’ve gone too far.

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I’m not a great one for a long journey to a family Christening. The further you travel, the greater the chance that you will have to “make a weekend of it” and stay overnight, leaving you sorely exposed to the possibility of an agonising evening with Cousin Ronald – bulbous claret nose, lugubrious droopy eyes.

But can anybody beat travelling 10,000 miles just for a Christening?

I recently heard about a couple, Sophie and Daniel Buffey, who travelled all the way back from Mooroolbark, Victoria, Australia to the Worcestershire village of Claines just to get their son, Aston, Christened. Sophie was brought up in the village, but 10,000 miles for a Christening is pretty impressive.

Can anyone improve on this?

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Smelling vaguely of gin, cheroots and musty horse stables, Great Aunt Maude sways gently on the edge of the gathering as she prepares to ensnare her next victim for a quick lecture about “that ghastly Mr Brown”.

Everybody makes the mistake of trying to avoid Great Aunt Maude at the Christening party, when in fact the best policy is attack …

Like all the best military commanders, Great Aunt Maude relies on surprise. When you think she’s going to lead with the “too many immigrants” gambit, she outflanks you with “I don’t think the baby’s mother was as ugly as that when she was that age …”, you are prepared for “what a pity your father was such a failure at business”, when she surprises you with “what an amusing Christening, where did they find the alcoholic vicar”.

Although she would never admit it, Great Aunt Maude is pleased to have been included at the Christening. In fact, much to her surprise, she quite enjoys spending time with the family. So greet her warmly, ask solicitously about her pet dachshund and offer to find her another gin. Such unaccustomed kindness will certainly redirect the bile and possibly improve your position in the old inheritance stakes … so everyone’s happy.

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